In This, The Best of All Possible Worlds
I got my results from the JET program today. I didn't get it. I didn't even get put on the alternate list. I just wasn't good enough to make it past the second round of selection. I am very disappointed. I really have no idea what i am going to do this year now. I haven't really looked for a job, as i've been looking east ward hoping that i'd get the chance to leave the country. not that Edmonton is a bad place to live, but i really wanted to get out into the world and experience it all for myself.
but thats okay, i didn't get JET, i'll just keep pluging along trying to write this 20 page paper. i was in HUB today after doing some quick library research for some more books to help out with my paper, and Campus Security comes up to me and tells me that i've been ID'd as a guy who punched out some girl's teeth at the powerplant last tuesday. the boyfriend of the girl says that i did it. so i had to fill out a statment form telling them about everything i did that day April 11th, and they took down all my information and are now going to go around contacting all my friends trying to prove what i said was legitimate.
it was honesly the most nerve-wracking thing that i've ever had happen to me. which made me realize what a fucking pansy i am. i mean, i'm being accused of this crime which i didn't commit, and i know that i didn't and when they're just trying to peice together what happened (which is perfectly reasonable, becuas they want to catch whoever did this) i nearly start crying. i ever forgot my own phone number was so rattled.
this semester has really been a set back in many ways, instead of making my last sememster the best one yet, it has been characterized by apathy, nervousness, intimidation, and me retreating more and more into my little comfort bubble and really not willing to come out. this is a complete 180 from who i was in England and i really need to spend some time trying to figure out who i am. i don't blame anyone except myself for allowing this to happen. and its only me who can make a change.
well there it is, my heart on my sleeve, please don't step on it.
And please, Don't feel sorry for me, I don't need pity right now. I'll work through this and move on, this is only a temprary setback.
posted by Rob at 5:17 PM
2 Comments:
I don't know how frequently you check this but I don't want to disturb your paper writing but if you ever need to talk or just someone to distract you with crazy antics I'm always here! You know my number!
I don't want to say "I'm Sor*y" in case its construed as pity, because I don't pity you, I just share in your sadness. I wanted you to have this opportunity so much!
8:29 PM
Hiiiiii Rob. That's freaky getting talked to by the Campus 5-0. I don't know if I'd be rattled up like you or if I'd be like "fuck it." I've changed a lot this year in my confidence in different situations, so its really hard to say.. Anyway, they'll catch the mofo who is actually responsible. I'm sure you'll be fine. You obviously didn't punch some chick unless you are schizophrenic and don't realize it. Also- that sucks you didn't get your JET application accepted. I know how its tough when your plans are changed at the drop of a hat and you have to figure your shit out. Who knows.. maybe this is a blessing in disguise and there is a REASON why you should stay home this summer. Just you wait!!!
Ellen
12:41 AM
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