The Neuroses of Rob
I’m not the kind of person I think I am. My self-image is very skewed from the reality of who I am. This is something I have recently come to realize (well I’ve known deep down all along, but recently it’s slapped me in the face a couple of times this reading week) and I don’t know how to change.
This is how I see myself: Fun and outgoing, a person who always has the right answer for everything and always knows just what to say. People admire him and he is generally liked by most. He is fit and athletic and full of energy all the time. He can handle a tremendous workload with ease and excel at everything he does. He is handsome and popular and brimming with self-confidence.
This is who I really am: shy and awkward. A person who trips over his own words, terrified of contradicting himself or feels he has nothing interesting to add to the conversation because he isn’t smart enough. I’m not sure if people even notice him. He’s slightly overweight and tired all the time. He has a hard time concentrating on the task at hand and has no concept of his own limits because he feels if he sets the stage, that guy mentioned above will get it all done.
I’m feeling sorry for myself at the moment, please bear with me.
posted by Rob at 5:38 PM
2 Comments:
Hey Rob,
I have a comment for you, but perhaps not your blog. I will email you in the morning as my battery is about to die.
11:52 PM
Rob,
i'm sure you probably don't want to hear my opinion, but i'll tell you how i, your friend, sees you. because i think everyone's perception of themselves is always a little off, and sometimes the perception of your close friends can help a bit.
The first image of yourself that you described is not false. you are fun and outgoing, and i'm pretty sure that 95% of the time, people who met you, like you because you are a warm and friendly person. You are very handsome, and popular! YOu have so many friends from the U of A, from overseas, from high school. I don't see how that doesn't make you popular. You have lots of friends who care very deeply about you. plus, i think you look very fit and atheltic, (but thats only cause i miss checking you out when we used to work out together!)
As for the second paragraph, i can honestly say that everyone feels this way about themselves one time or another. everyone gets depressed about how they look or how well they are doing in school. but the important part is to awknowledge that, and certainly try to change whats bugging you, but don't let it consume you whole. this is coming from a person who struggles with depression on a daily basis here.
If you ever need to talk about any of this, call me up and we can go for coffee and have a night on the time. we haven't had one of those for a long time, just me and you.
i love you Rob. you're like, my best friend in the entire world. and if there's one thing i hate more, its seeing you down and upset.
i'm here for you dude.
9:43 AM
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