Returning Home

For all my readers out there, i am leaving South Africa tomorrow (wed April 25th) i'm experiencing mixed feelings about this mainly because i absolutely love South Africa, i've made so many friends here and had so many amazing experiences that the thought of leaving terrifies me. Also, i didn't really get to choose the date of my departure and thus i am feeling a bit like i'm being ripped from my home here. I'm not leaving on my terms and that makes me sad and angry. I realize that if i had been a bit more decisive, or stood up for myself a bit more, i would be leaving on May 7th like i had originally intended.
But having said that, i am also very excited to be returning home, first to Vancouver to give a presentation at UBC on my experiences in South Africa. I am always looking for ways to become more proficient at public speaking so I'm hoping that this experience will be a good one. Then its on to Edmonton to see the family and friends. I'm really excited. Yet a bit apprehensive as well, because like it was when i returned from England, i went back to living with my parents which is great, but i go back to being 15 and am dependent on them for my transportation needs, my mobility is restricted there, not because they stop me from doing what i want to do, they have been amazingly flexible to accommodate my wish to borrow the car and stuff like that, but in the end I'm still reliant on them and thats what bugs me and thats what i don't like about returning home. But it will only be for a short while and then I'll have found a job and get on with my life.
but to make sense of that rambling mess: I'm very excited to be returning home to being with my family, i look forward to chatting with them about how theyve changed and whats gone on in their lives and regaling them with stories of my African adventure. I may complain about leaving, but at the end of it i'm happy to be going home. So just bare with me as i say "i'm so happy to be going home but..."