Thoughts on Family

I tend to blog in my head and thats the reason why i don't update so much. its kind of a funny phenomenon, the way my thoughts on various personal issues can be formulated in a way as if they are being read by complete strangers on the internet. i am finding myself doing this often, though not often enough to be worried about, but it usually starts by me thinking about my blog and that i haven't updated in a while and then another neuron fires and i start thinking about various personal aspects of my life, such as my family, my friends, lack of enthousiasm for job hunting, etc. and voila my brain starts formulating a mental blog.

today i was thinking about the imending nuptuals of my sister. she is getting married at the end of the month. then i began thinking about my family and the relationships therein. The fact is, i'm not very clost to my family. well thats a lie, i'm close with them, we have sunday dinners together most sundays, we get along great with each other and we all rarely, if at all, fight. the relationships i'm talking about are the friendships that exist with a family. On a personal level, i don't fell all the well connected to my siblings. I'm probably closer to some of my friends than i am to my brothers and sister. This bothers me.

I am well aware that is nearly impossible to keep all of your friends in your life. that friends will come and go, some amicably others not so much. i've had friends and relationship disappear as time goes on. this is a fact of life. It is only the true friends that will last a lifetime. It is my personal opinion that family is the only thing that can truly beat time (as well as really strong friendships, there thats my disclaimer, so that my friends who read this don't think that i'll eventually drop them somewhere down the road)

Basically my point is this (this is a cop-out, i really could turn this thought into an entire essay, but i really should get back to work): that i want to be closer to my brothers and my sister. I want to make them more than my siblings, i want them to become my friends. i want to talk to them about deeper things than simply family stuff. have them there when things are bad, and be there for them when things are bad for them.

well that turned out to be more of a personal post than i ment it to be. oh well. c'est ma vie, je ne changerai pas.